Equal Opportunity Marriage: Are you down with the Swirl?

No, I'm not talking about the overturning of Prop 8 (but I did do a victory dance last night). Not sure where I was when this was first reported in June, but I was very surprised (yet not) to learn that interracial marriage in the U.S. is at an all-time high! 14.6% of all new marriages in the U.S. in 2008 were between people of a different race or ethnicity. I find this very interesting in a country where in some parts I'm still referred to as "colored." Now anyone who knows me knows that I've ALWAYS been an equal opportunity dater. And I don't buy into the hype that there's a disproportionate amount of good eligible black men in the world. I know too many good ones. Now I will say that I've noticed a large increase in the number of brothas who are opting to date outside of the race. Love is blind, but 22% of black men who wed in '08 married outside their race. That's more than 1/5 versus the 9% of black women did the same. What's really good? Is there a reason for the "mass exodus" or is it simply that color lines are finally being erased?

Reading List: Steve Harvey is Teaching Us How to Think Like a Man!

Funnyman & national radio show host, Steve Harvey's new book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man is quickly becoming the single ladies bible. I have learned a lot from listening to the frank advice Steve gives female listeners who call his radio show with questions about love & relationships. And I'm very happy that he has penned this book which offers women an intimate look at how men think when it comes to relationships. Let's face it many of us are clueless regardless of your current status - single, married or divorced. Who better to get advice from than a man? I've always wondered why women are so quick to listen to each others' warped advice instead of going straight to the source - a man! Harvey even appeared on OPRAH yesterday to offer advice. The following are 5 questions Harvey said women should always start asking a man as soon as you meet him:

1.What are your short-term goals?
Steve says this is a question you need to ask on the first date. "That's important. You want to know what a guy's working on," he says. "You listen very intently. You use your investigative skills. You be smart."

2. What are your long-term goals?
Every man needs to have a plan, Steve says. "They have to be different from the short-term goals," he says. "If they're not different, you have a guy that's not really planning."

Once you're armed with this information, Steve says you can decide whether you want to attach yourself to his plan and take the relationship to the next level.

3. What are your views on relationships?
Family, friends, God…find out if these bonds are strong. Steve says a man's relationship with his mother is the most critical. "If it's nonexistent, that's a red flag. If that bond has been tainted or broken, please know he has no problem tainting or breaking yours," he says. "If you can't love your mother, please know he is incapable of loving you."

If you're spiritual—and he's not—Steve says you probably won't be able to change him. "Your cookie is not that good to make him go to church. He's had cookie before," he says. "He still ain't with the church."

4. What do you think about me?
Steve says women should listen carefully to how a man answers this question. It may reveal a lot about the impression you're making.

"He'll gladly tell you this. 'I think that you're great. I think you would make a great mother. I think you would be a terrific homemaker. I think you're very independent. I think you're very worthy,'" Steve says. "He's going to tell you all of this stuff."

5. What do you feel about me?
Once you have the answer to the fourth question, immediately ask the last one on Steve's list. In most cases, how a man feels about you will be very different from what he thinks of you.

"A man that has been thinking about you seriously has an answer for that," Steve says. "[He might say:] 'How do I feel about you? I feel like when I'm not with you, I ain't going to make it. I feel like you're the one for me. I feel like finally I've met somebody who I can share my hopes and dreams with.' … You may even find these words: 'You know what? I'm in love with you.' Which is what you're all looking for."
Source

Sounds pretty logical but are you asking these questions? Too many times my girlfriends are driving themselves & ME crazy b/c they aren't sure how this man they've been "dating" for a year or more feels about them. They don't hold back while talking to me, but in front of this man they have marbles in their mouth. Ladies, for the sake of all the BFFs out there & your own please learn how to communicate directly with your boo. Because even though we pretend that we don't mind listening to you go on & on about Mr. Wrong we really DO!

I recommend that you get this book for yourself & all the important urbanistas in your life. It retails for only $13.19 on Amazon! To buy the book CLICK HERE. If you're like me & too nice to tell your girlfriend that the man she is dating is a L-O-S-E-R, this will be the perfect gift to give her a gentle nudge & help get the message across AND it will save you some daytime/rollover minutes. To read an excerpt of Harvey's book CLICK HERE.

Gettin' Jazzy With It: Weekend Edition

Howdy urbanistas! If you're in the Dirty South (more specifically in TN or TX) this weekend check out these events:



The Frist Center for the Visual Arts in Nashville, TN will feature the sounds of the legendary Billie Holiday this Sunday @ 3pm. The event is FREE!!! Let me repeat that, FREEEEEEEEE!!!! BTW - for all of you out there looking for Mr. Right - he might just be there instead of Mr. Right Now who is guaranteed to be at the club you're probably planning to go to! LOL - I'm guilty of it too. For more on the event GO HERE.

Ok now for my other home, if you're in Houston or Dallas don't miss The Warehouse Sale where you can get up to 80% off designer denim. Hello! Spring is coming so it's time to stock up. Especially if your True Religions are holding on by a few threads like mine. For more info GO HERE.